random chatter: momentum, callbacks and recalls

Slowly but surely, the tasks on the list you see on your right are being ticked. Many of them are just inches away from my grasp others simply need a block of devoted time that I can foresee sacrificing in the not too distant future. I've never been so close to getting a legitimate full time dance gig with such a beautiful company of dancers and depending on how the planets align themselves in the next few months, I would be confident in setting a goal to be 100% self employed by the year's end, leaving my job to pursue my interest in teaching, train like mad and work on my yoga certification. That's my life in a dream. Beautiful, happy, and coursing at my own pace.

It's funny how the people sit up and notice when it looks like you're approaching your natural momentum. Suddenly, you're magnetic, you're glowing and people see it. You're making moves, following your path, and signs begin revealing themselves, those moves become easier. It's all just over the horizon.

My submissions at UGLY are beginning to pick up. I went in this week to slate me dancing with vacuum to some draggy disco tune... its a commercial for a high end Swiss skincare product. It took all of three minutes and I had so much fun bugging out in for a room full of agents. Ahahah! Anyway, I'm on hold next week to shoot. I hope I land the gig!

My callback for Syren was a disaster, but I'm so clear on what my weaknesses are in terms of my training and talent (picking up ography and movement quality more quickly, partnering) and my mental and emotional state in auditions (dealing with competition, pacing myself). I know what I need to work on. It's a shame I didn't stick the choreo, because I enjoyed the movement... very balletic and delicate, sweeping and musical. I never get to move like that and it was such a treat. Alas... there will be other auditions.

The second callback for Misnomer on Thursday went well. After three hours of choreography, improv, partnering, lifts, and more choreography, my mind and body were spent! In the end, all seven of the dancers who were called back must wait to hear an answer in the next few months. I feel like I shared as much of myself as I was able to in the time I was given and whatever answer the future reveals is not my business until I meet it. I'm optimistic, but I'm being real when I say the competition is stiff. But I don't know what the choreographer is really looking for and I don't know if I'm a match and everything happens for a reason and in any event, my future is still bright.

Then, I spent the night with him... yessir... and it was so lovely. But I'm straight on all that past internal drama. I've no regrets and no sad story to speak of. We enjoyed each other's company. I've known him for two years, a long time to be involved with someone who isn't interested in being involved. I'm for real good on him. It's taken two years to see it, but I'm clear on the relationship that we have and I don't expect to see it through the new year.

Happy Summer Solstice! Here's to another promising six months!

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