chemical brothers: let forever be

this video is somewhere near the top of my favorite videos. it's trippy as hell and the choreography is timeless. enjoy!

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random chatter: everyday i'm hustlin'

1. these last few days have been at once hectic and enlightening and emotional and empowering. i made a lot of decisions, some i'm happy with, others i'm a bit regretful of. but i'm too much thinker-feeler. not enough doer. so i have to keep moving. stay on the path. the momentum's back, but it's got me seeing things as they relate to reality. no flying high on grand faith and feeling. i'm going to make these dreams of mine real life. this year has to be the year. i can't see the possibilities outside of my goals. this plan has to work. there is no plan b.

2. in the last week, i've auditioned like mad. i went ahead and crashed that cirque audition. for all my nervousness, i wasn't asked a thing. i was cut right away, but they have my things now. i'm hoping to go to their march audition in toronto. i haven't heard from ase yet *crossing fingers*, but i went out for another company inspirit dance based in brooklyn, which i landed. i have my first rehearsal this weekend. go me!

3. i discovered something a few days ago. my life was in perfect order when i was a disciplined student of dance. when i was taking class religiously and even with the stress of school and work, i got it done. i feel overwhelmed and just a step behind myself. so i'm getting back to it. i have to be dancing everyday, as exercise, as education, as reward, as work, as pay, as release.

4. i'm going to youngstown, oh at the end of the month. to judge a dance competition. as a kid, my local dance studio was way too avant garde for the competition scene, so i don't know the first thing about the competitive dance world. the stereotypes i have of these sort of events include underdressed, terribly trained preteen divas and the egomaniacal stage-momzillas who enable them. there will probably be a lot of bad dancing. a lot of glitter and neon lycra. but the pay is good and the organizers are covering for my flight, hotel room and meals, so i'm down!.

this covers my outta the city resolution for february. i was getting worried because my dc plans got tripped up... flaky people are the worst.

phil's from youngstown. le sigh.

5. i had my teacher training midterm last week. i stressed over it so much i wasn't sleeping! i had to create a lesson plan to present to the class. in the end, my teachers and my classmates loved my work. the comments and feedback i received were so rewarding! work hard, be successful.

6. i stood up to the two bullies in my life last week. on a whim in both the instances. i don't generally like confrontation, but i hate being treated like less than. one instance backfired and may cost me a mutual friend and a regular gig, and though there may have been other ways i could have handled it, i think the result could have happened no other way... c'est la vie. the other instance has laid the groundwork for every step i'll take from now on--most importantly, the ones to and out the door.

7. i told my boss that if i get a touring gig, i'd take it and wouldn't look back. i'll have been working there 6 years on my birthday this summer. that's much longer than i wanted. i'm ready to go. i'm waiting patiently for my escape plan to materialize. *geevus take the wheeeel!*

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on: auditioning (part 2)

1. i auditioned for ase dance theater collective this evening and all the stress and fatigue i've been feeling melted away. there were several moment tonight where i found myself on the brink of tears or feeling uncontrollably happy. i was an incredibily inspiring audition and even if i don't get the gig, i'm happy have had the opportunity to leave with so many seeds.

2. i think i'm going to make it a habit to improv more often. i always feel so relaxed and receptive after improving. another resolution maybe?

3. there's an exclusive, agency-only audition for a dream gig this weekend. it happens to be an eight-hour audition... for which i've not submitted any materials and i'm not certain i'll even be permitted to participate since i'm not with the agency called... and i don't even have a dance agent. decisions. decisions.

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dancing vs. being broke

imagine my frustration and sadness as i sit here, eyes glassy, shoulders sore, fingers shaky from hours hunched at my desk while there are agents in the conference room shuffling through headshots and watching reels. i'm overhearing conversations between choreographers and producers. i'm watching students improve and be recognized. i'm saying "have a good rehearsal!", "merde! you'll be great tonight!", and "have a wonderful time on your all expense paid two-week teaching gig in australia!" i'm winding down and feeling stuck and wishing for the courage to just say "fuck it! i'm a dancer!"

do care about dancing more than i care about being broke?

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i want to be dancing

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3/365

3/365, originally uploaded by lettuce_move.

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așa: fire on the mountain

i purchased așa's latest self-titled album this afternoon. her video for the album's first single, 'fire on the mountain' is dope.



visit her website (www.asa-official.com)

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2/365

2/365, originally uploaded by lettuce_move.

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1/365

1/365, originally uploaded by lettuce_move.

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face: miss bruno x mac brunette

face
prescriptives custon concealer + studio tech nw50 foundation + prescriptives custom liquid foundation (center) + deep dark blot powder + gold deposit mineralized skin finish.

eyes
brow nanogold shadow (highlight) + earthly riches minerlized shadow. lid contrast shadow (corner) + parfait amour shadow. crease shadowy lady. liner henna shadow (lower lash). lashes pro longlash in pitchblack.

cheeks
format powder blush + merrily mineralized blush.

lips
chestnut lip liner + sephora ultrashine lip gloss in brown + gold deposit mineralized skin finish.

[inspiration] x [inspiration]
*all makeup is mac cosmetics unless otherwise noted

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2009 Resolution N°2: project365

i thought about beginning a project365 (in which i take a picture a day for the next year) on new year's day, but january sort of came and went so fast i hardly had a moment to enjoy it! so i'm starting 31 days late and i'll end it a year from yesterday. i'm looking forward to this little project. i've been reading about other people's experiences doing this. how much they learned about themselves and what's important to them. this will be interesting.

stay tuned...

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