1. I'm feeling pretty resolute about what I want in life and career. This opera gig, propping me in the middle of serene beautiful nature, miles away from hectic city living, has been such an immense blessing. I've been working on my chanting, looping a short lotus sutra recitation I downloaded so that I can concentrate better. I've been making calls and sending emails. I pray that I can sustain this momentum when I go back on Monday. I'm excited to get back to my daily grind so that I can start doing what I say I'm going to do. I need to get out more. Be more respectful of my time. Work on my intuition. And get back to impressing and inspiring me before I get caught up in what others have in the works.
2. I've been thinking a lot about what I want in love, too. That, I'm not so clear on. My dad died when I was 16, just when I was pulling my nose out of my books long enough to notice the boys were noticing back. I think about all the conversations I would've had with my pops about how to choose the right man, how he should treat me, and what kind of man he wants for me. Nearly ten years later, and I still can't figure it out. I'm totally lost when it comes to men. I know now, from Phil and the ones before, what I don't want. I just wish I were more clear on what I do want in a man. I need to be patient.
3. My mama is coming to see the operas tomorrow night. She hasn't seen me dance since AGORA II back in 2006, so I'm excited for her to come. I'm also happy because she never leaves the house to do anything that isn't somehow related to work (ie: a nurse's luncheon, a former patient's wake). Our relationship is improving so much and I suspect it's because of these extended periods of distance. I love my mother. I also love my independence.
01 August 2008
To Future Me
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2 comments:
I think I saw you the other day on Fulton St, right after I bought that dress from Addy & Ferro actually. It took me a moment to place your face and then I smiled but you'd already glanced away. So, hello.
I think being away from the city, especially when you are in a place where nature flourishes, is one of the best therapies. So much is released effortlessly.
Glad to see that you are your focus.
Re: men
I think knowing what you don't want is sometimes more important than knowing what you do. My favorite relationships were ones in which I discovered what I do want.
Ha! I'd gone to Addy & Ferro that day. What a thought! Hello to you, too. Thanks for commenting... especially the bit about men. I'll try to keep that advice in mind.
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