On: The Peculiar Thing About My Men

1. I've never been so clear about the following fact: men are attracted to successful women. Not to say that I've, by any stretch of the imagination, reached what I would call success--I've got many many more steps to go. But I'm making moves... and I'm noticing a strange trend. Men I used to shamelessly fawn over to no avail are suddenly calling to talk about nothing in particular or leaving not so subliminal messages in my inbox. It's the damnedest thing.

2. There are a handful of them floating around in my periphery, hell-bent on distracting me from my course. They are handsome and smart and worldly and they all have really good things going for them. But, they all have defects significant enough to be deal breakers. Sexual attraction, conversational co-rhythm, financial solvency, a penchant for curbing drama, etceteras, etceteras are so key to holding my attention. So I'm talking the talk to keep them at bay, but I've got my eyes fixed. These dudes can't give me what I need-- I'm sure they can give a lot of exactly what I don't need!

3. I have never been attracted to men who can't lead the way... or those who can't understand and act on my subliminal lead. I remember reading in Robert Green's The Art of Seduction, those who are too dense or too proud to be seduced should be avoided at all costs. The frustration will foil a plan and kill the romance. When a man doesn't know what to do with me, I get annoyed and lose interest. What kept me hooked on Phil is that he always knew what to do next. He was just smooth like that. And though he wasn't into planning for the long haul, he was ace at romantic timing. He totally had me in his palm and if I ever stepped off or wanted to change the course of things, he could sense it and act accordingly. We were totally compatible in that sense. It's a shame that this is not all it takes to keep a relationship afloat.

4. I have a crush on a student of mine. He's older than me. Well-traveled and talented in many arts, a jack of all trades, casanova type. I day-dream about him regularly and I've invested way more time and energy on him than my job requires. It's really embarrassing. I'm almost sure that he's on to me, but then sometimes I think he's not getting my drift. I really just want him in my pants one time.

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