I stumbled upon an ad for this show and felt a little sad. I remember the audition for FELA!, the Bill T. Jones created musical about the life of Nigerian inventor of afrobeat. I remember that it was at this audition that I realized that talent, in fact, does count for something in this business, and that I couldn't simply get by on luck and looks alone. Before then, I pretty much banked on this miserable theory that all of the work I'd been hired for were token gestures or simply to fulfill the requirements of some diversity grant. Before that audition, in front of Bill T. Jones and Aaron Johnson (of Antibalas), plus a table full of bigwigs and people I wanted to be... before then, I thought I didn't have to work so hard to prove myself because I was an Ailey-trained lean and muscular black dancer and even though I wasn't hot shit, most people thought I was because I looked like I was (more on reconciling what people think I am with what I actually am in a later post).
So, anyway, I bombed that audition and it was quite a shock. As was my luck, all of the women at the audition were Ailey-trained lean and muscular black dancers... who could both sing and act and play percussion and recall West African folk songs and were more confident, more beautiful, and truly far more hotter shit than I ever thought I was. I couldn't execute African dance convincingly. I wasn't a confident improvisor. I was too sure about my ability to just pick up my sax and wing it. I was a mess. And then I was really, really blue. I was staring my dream in the eye: a chance to work for my favorite choreographer along side one of my favorite music groups in a show about one of my favorite music artist. And I blew it. Totally dropped the ball. No excuses. Just poor planning and too little self-awareness. I promised myself that I would take vocal lessons and African classes, that I would pick up my sax everyday and learn to improvise like the greats. I'd be unstoppable.
Fast forward a year, the show is opening next month. I plan to see it, of course. I watch the youtube clips and I can only imagine what the process must have been like; the rehearsals and the music and the community of it... sigh. I never got any of those classes in and I've yet to pick up my sax again, but I will soon. And maybe, if this show is picked up for a bigger longer run, I can be ready for it.
Check the website for clips, show dates, and more information about the show at www.felaoffbroadway.com
19 July 2008
Must See: FELA! Off-Broadway
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2 comments:
dont beat yourself up. the fact of the matter is, we ALL have those auditions. and those of us who DONT, have stopped auditioning (out of pure fear, i guess. or is it stress? i dont ask myself the question near enough!).
uve said u were going 2 do it, and u will. when the time is right.
thanks 4 the inspiration & the memory. as a fellow dancer, it's refreshing...
Thanks for the encouraging words. Sometimes I just get really frustrated with myself, but you're absolutely right. That audition was just a moment; one to learn from and be inspired by... I just need to be patient with myself and respect my timing.
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